Amberly died a horrendous violent death. This is so hard for me to share with you without crying. This might be graphic for some people but this is what really happened to her. Someone came though her bedroom window one night and I did not hear him. He put a pillow over her face so no one could hear her. He raped her and she couldn’t breath . She died of Asphyxiation. I didn’t know what that word meant until it happened to my daughter. It’s known as suffocation; to die from lack of oxygen. I didn’t find her until the next day. The window was open and her body was naked with the pillow on her face.
That very day God said to me ‘All things are possible though Christ who give you strength.’ Matt 19:23-30. I didn’t know what that meant at the time. But I knew God was speaking to me. Throughout my life after that I felt His strength in me and His rest . Sometimes I didn’t know it was His strength and rest.
I question God all the time Why God why didn’t you warn me! Why didn’t you let it happen to me instead! But God told me that there is evil in this world, and He was there to heal me and protect me. At first I didn’t want anything to do with God. I grew cold and uncaring for people. One day at work I was told about a little boy who got hurt. And all I could think of is ‘Who cares I’ve been though worse’. As I drove home that day I realized that my heart was empty and cold. That wasn’t me I would have never responded that way. I knew something was wrong with me. That night I went to my back yard and I got on my knees and said if you’re really there please show yourself to me! I can’t live this way anymore.
God heard me that night and slowly started to heal me. I was so fragile and naive. It took many years and I went though many things to receive his healing and his wisdom. I hope that God can touch your hearts and enlighten your eyes to see that God can heal you too. I pray His holy presence, His rest, His joy, His beauty, His protection, and most of all His love and faithfulness that he gave to me will be yours.